


Black and Gold

by inshadowinsun



Category: Gladiator (2000)
Genre: F/M, Tags to be added, some violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:02:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24139309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inshadowinsun/pseuds/inshadowinsun
Summary: The Emperor's best and most prized fighter, Aeliana, will now serve as his personal guard.
Relationships: Lucius Aelius Aurelius Commodus | Emperor Commodus/Original Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	1. Ⅰ

**Author's Note:**

> This will most likely evolve into inaccuracies, but please enjoy regardless!

Aeliana felt the adrenaline kick up her heart rate. She could never tell if she was afraid or excited for the coming fights. She never had time to figure it out.

The gate opened and the roar of the crowd deafened her. She looked around as she cautiously walked out, seeing distant faces of the Roman populace, but ultimately settled her gaze on the only person that mattered. The Emperor. She didn't have to see his expression to know he was looking at her as well.

She heard her name being announced and the crowd went wild. _Like a crowd of animals._ She hated being under their gaze, but her life was in their hands in the end. She had to please them. Not even the Emperor was unaffected by them. He too had to bow to their demands regarding the gladiators.

Her opponent was released. A giant of a man, ready to murder her. She was certain the crowd would not approve, but they needn't worry, for she knew she'd win. As they approached one another, she spotted a familiar color pouring down the man's bare side. Blood. The wound was covered by his chest plate, but it didn't contain the lethal amounts leaving his body. _What is that..? A stab wound?_

Aeliana wasn't fond of fighting now, seeing her opponent weakened by a mysterious injury. Was the fight rigged in her favor? By whom? Before she could think any longer, the man thrust his sword and she parried it swiftly, engaging in battle.

It did not take long to bring the giant to his knees. Blood covered every area of him, staining the sand under them, and getting splashes of red on her as well. A man his size, it came as no surprise it would be a bloody battle. He was breathing heavily, ragged...it was his last moments.

She caught her own breath and found herself looking up to the Emperor in his Imperial Box. He had walked into the sunlight, his clenched hand making her wait in anticipation. He was pleased with her, she noted, and saw how exhilarating it was for him to watch her fight in his name. The man below her coughed in a way that made her pity the fighter, but she didn't relent in her gaze. _Please, let me put him out of his misery._

The Emperor wore a grin that made Aeliana feel uneasy. She gripped her sword tighter, cursing him that he was taking so long in giving her the command, until he finally gave the gesture that would end the man's life. Raising her sword, she plunged it into his throat and closed her eyes, drowning out every sound around her. It was just another day. Tomorrow would be the same.

* * *

Someone handed Aeliana a cloth on her way out of the Colosseum. She wiped the sweat and blood off her drenched face, then the back of her neck. Everyone was cheering her name, so happy she gave them bloody entertainment once again. The fight was spectacular to them, but suspicious to Aeliana. A wounded fighter made the show shorter than usual, and easier.

"The Emperor has called for you."

She was escorted straight from the fight with no time to wash. It was one of the only things that she looked forward to after a fight, other than it being over; she loved a long, hot bath to herself. Instead, she was walking down the long corridor to the Emperor's chambers, plagued with many thoughts.

The men who brought her before the Emperor were sent away by a subtle gesture from Commodus, leaving Aeliana alone with him. He was seated in a chair near her, his legs spread open while he softly nibbled on his finger. She knew this posture well. He was aroused after her battle, as he always was. She didn't know if it was her physically or that she had won so many bloody fights.

"You asked for me, Caesar?"

He was silent for a few breaths, but the air around him was suffocating. He was teasing her by withholding a response, and in that time he indulged in her presence. _What are his intentions?_ Not knowing made Aeliana uncomfortable.

Finally, he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper, "Do I need a reason to see my best fighter?"

She nervously played with her fingers behind her back, "No, of course not, Caesar."

He held up a strict hand, "No. Do not call me that when we are alone. I have said that many times." 

She swallowed hard and nodded, "Yes, Commodus. Forgive me."

He accepted her plea for forgiveness, "Do remember from now on or I shall be very displeased with you." 

There was a dark moment where Aeliana was fearful she had truly angered him, but he relaxed in a grin, "Your fight was…" He exhaled a deep, shaky breath, "Rousing. A glorious ending for your retirement."

She blinked in awe, "Retirement? Emperor, I-"

"My name!" He yelled out, gripping the chair with white knuckles, "Speak my name." His glare was intense as he spoke dangerously low.

Caught off guard, she shaikly regained her composure, "Co..Commodus, I have no intention to retire. My purpose is to fight for you, to win battles in your name, for your glory. Are my fights not entertaining?"

Aeliana cursed herself for being so weak when around the Emperor, whereas on the arena ground she was more courageous than any other gladiator. Though she disliked being applauded by the crowd, the thrill of the fight was enjoyable, and she wished the Emperor were only playing a game with her.

Commodus smiled, relishing in her compliments, "Very entertaining, Aeliana. Every day I wait in anticipation for you to enter the arena. Some days, it is all I look forward to."

"Then why are you taking me out of the Colosseum?"

He stood up slowly, walking over to his bed and beckoning her over with a gesture of his hand, "Come, sit beside me."

She took a deep breath and followed her Emperor, sitting a fair distance away from him. She felt uncomfortable sitting on his bed. It was a magnificent bed with clean, beautiful sheets, and here she was, dirtying it with her gladiator mess. It did not seem to bother him, so she tried to ease her worry away from how dirty she was to why he wanted her on his bed in the first place.

His voice was gentle, "You have something to say to me. I want you to say that first."

She didn't hesitate, "That man I fought. He was wounded, did you know that?" She spoke strongly, determined to find out the cause of the botched match.

The corners of his mouth twitched a smile, but he grew serious, "Wounded, you say? No...no, I knew nothing of this."

She stared at him until he cracked into that grin that made her feel uneasy, "Aeliana...that man would have slayed you."

She scoffed, looking away from him while rolling her eyes. An action that would get most killed. She was not like most.

"So you took it upon yourself to weaken him? Make him fraile, then I take the victory? Is this what I am hearing?"

Commodus continued to smile. So much emotion, it was refreshing, "Shh, Aeliana…" He reached for her shoulder, whining out her name, but she dodged it.

"Don't." As soon as she said it, she knew she had overstepped.

Now his anger overtook him, "Do not say no to me. I am taking you out of the fights. You are no longer a gladiator. Do you hear me?"

Her teeth were clenched, "Then what shall I do, Commodus?" The sarcastic way she spoke his name rolled off her tongue easily in her anger.

"I will let your being so upset with me go just this once, but not again." He breathed through his nose, "You will be my personal guard. I fear in these times, many people wish to see me dead. I trust you to secure my life and rid the world of my enemies."

She calmed herself and was thankful the Emperor let her do so in silence. She was to be Commodus' personal guard? It was a pleasing thought, but she was unsure. Why her? Just because she was a devoted and excellent fighter?

After a lengthy pause, when he saw she was relaxed, he continued, "You will stay by my side at every moment. You shall be my shadow. My chambers will be yours, you will sleep with me-"

"I do not have privacy in this offer of yours?"

He glared at her, annoyed at her interruption, "You shall sleep with me. There will be no secrets between us. We will trust one another completely. It is a necessary sacrifice for you, Aeliana. I must be able to trust you to protect my life."

She was ready to argue with him, but he held up his hand to stop her, "There will be no discussion on this. It is in effect tomorrow, to give you a chance to transition. It will be very different for you, I know, but I am strict in this decision. Are we clear?"

She sighed, "I have no say?"

Commodus stifled a laugh, "You would say no to such a grand position?" When she didn't laugh with him, he sighed as well, "No. I control you, Aeliana, I have since you were but a mere slave. I had hoped you would have been happy to serve me better."

Many thoughts whirled in her mind. It was indeed a grand position. She would have the luxury of the Emperor as she lived side by side with him. Though she would not see her fighter friends, the exhilaration of the battle every day, or the peace of being alone. Yet he was right. He did control her. Whatever he said, she had to listen, and he knew she would obey.

She closed her eyes, "No, Commodus, you are wrong. I am very happy to serve you. It pleases me you have chosen me for such a duty. I thank you." Then looked to him with a smile.

He smiled back, "Then I shall call for you tomorrow and you can begin to appreciate your new life." He pat her back in a gesture of comfort and was glad she did not shy from his touch.

When he rose, she did as well, and waited for him to release her. He stood silently, then placed his hands upon her shoulders, "I expect your complete and utter submission to me, Aeliana. I will not tolerate disobedience from you." 

A cold shiver ran down her spine, "Yes, Commodus, of course."

He nodded, then waved her away, watching as she walked out of his chambers.


	2. II

It was not an easy transition from gladiator to guard.

Aeliana's usual attire was replaced with armor that felt much too stiff on her even though it was less than she usually wore. She was told by the servants who helped her put it on that every detail on her armor set and the cloth was hand selected by Commodus himself. It did not make wearing it any more pleasant.

After being allowed a bath and adorned with her new daily outfit, she was instructed to wait for the Emperor outside of his chambers. It was rare for him to sleep and sleep well and unless it was a dire situation, no one dared to wake Commodus.

She was unsure how long she sat in the hallway. It smelled so much better than her place in the Colosseum and was much more quiet and peaceful. As soon as she found herself relaxing, she heard the Emperor enter to her right.

He looked exhausted. His eyes dark. Aeliana guessed it was not a restful sleep. He ran a lazy hand through his unkempt hair and blinked the sleep out of his eyes. She immediately rose to her feet to greet him and in turn was met with a warm smile from Commodus.

"You look well, Aeliana." His eyes traveled slowly down her, admiring her, "I'm very happy with your new attire."

She smiled, lying easily, "So am I." 

He drew closer, "Our day will begin after I've had my bath. You are to accompany me, of course."

He held out his hand, and in response Aeliana took hold and placed a kiss upon his ring.

Satisfied, he then walked past her, a whiff of fragrance enveloping her. Even as the Emperor slept he smelled of a lavender field. His room was adorned in fragrance, something that lulled Aeliana into a dream. She had missed smelling beautiful scents.

It was just as interesting to see him in such a lounging outfit. A single robe was all that saved him from being in the nude. She was thankful he covered himself properly.

The walk to the baths was met with many slanted looks directed toward Aeliana. Luckily, since she was with the Emperor, their stares did not linger long. She did not care what they thought of her, only that it reminded her of the watchful eyes of the arena. Judging her. 

A low whisper entered her ear, "Do not mind them." Commodus stared straight ahead, already used to eyes on him.

She nodded lightly. It was difficult to ignore them, but as they grew closer to their destination, less people were around to see her. 

An attendant was preparing the bath when they arrived. Commodus sent them away as he entered, but stopped walking once he saw Aeliana was not following.

"Are you afraid?" He joked, a slight smile on his face, "It is just you and I."

"No." _Yes, I am._

He laughed breathlessly, "Join me." Then walked further in.

She followed, feeling the immense humidity from the hot water, then found a bench to sit on. Commodus stripped off his clothes without hesitation which made Aeliana avert her gaze. She felt it was wrong for a woman of her status to see the Emperor this way. She was practically a commoner, at least, that's how she felt. To see him in such an intimate way, she was not worthy.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him descend into the bath, moaning in delight at the hot temperature of the water. He let his head fall back as he relaxed, having his arms on either side of the bath.

A few moments passed, then she heard him laugh, "Aeliana, you are allowed to look at me, you know."

She had her head turned and was staring at the tiles on the floor. _Look at the elegance of these tiles...amazing._

"Aeliana," When she did not reply, he spoke again, "Now I am demanding you...look at me." His voice was stern. He would truly not let this go.

"Commodus, I feel unworthy to gaze upon your form." She hated saying that, as if he were some sort of god on earth, but it was the truth. She didn't want to tell him how she had never seen a man in such a way, even in the bowels of the Colosseum, and she didn't want to now.

"As much as I love your flattery, I don't have the patience for it in this moment. Come here and pour water over my head." 

She bit her lip, then searched for the pot to fill with water from his bath. It was then she noticed he was positioned in the corner of the small pool, half turned with his back to her, and it eased her considerably.

When she found what she needed, she knelt besides him and submerged it under the water. She felt his eyes on her, searing into her like a hot iron, every movement under his gaze. It took all she had not to meet his eyes.

She then moved behind him and raised the pot before slowly let the water wash over the Emperor's head. He moaned in agreement, "Thank you." Then smoothed his wet hair back, "Stay here, next to me."

She found a pillow to sit on and did as he said. Her armor made it difficult, mostly around her midsection, but she stretched her legs out in front of her and laid her hands in her lap. She was dangerously close to the water and to him, so much so that his arm was touching her leg. Commodus made a satisfied hum.

"Today will be simple. I have a meeting with the Senate, then lunch, and perhaps we can take a walk before I work." 

His hand moved up to rest on her knee, just above her greaves. She didn't dare move as he held onto her, continuing to speak, "By then your wardrobe will have been placed in my chambers and we will settle in for the night."

He turned his body to face her, watching his own hand travel further up her leg at a slow and savouring pace. His mouth slightly open. When met at the edge of her tunic, his fingers slid under it, then gently felt her thigh with his fingertips, "I am sure you are most eager to sleep with your Emperor." He barely managed his words, his breath alone shaky and fragile.

Aeliana swallowed hard. Commodus moved once more and settled his head on her greaves, continuing to lightly massage her and closing his eyes in apparent bliss. 

If it wasn't clear to her before, it was beyond obvious now that the Emperor was affected by her. How did his attraction even occur? 

_It's clear he's attracted to me physically. We never once had a lengthy conversation in my life._

He was older than Aeliana by a few years, she was sure he had more experience with love and lust than she did. She wondered if he was aware that she was untouched, or if he even cared about her truly. 

She kept quiet, not sure of an answer that would please him. Being an object of desire for the Emperor was never her plan in the arena. She had no ambitions to be anything more than a fighter. But here she was, being touched so...sensually by the Caesar himself. 

He stayed still for quite some time, almost as if he were resting. She let him continue to feel her thigh under her tunic and was pleased that he didn't go any further upwards.

Aeliana felt her body grow stiff from sitting still for so long. Commodus had finished bathing himself with her close by and words were not exchanged. She allowed herself to look at his bare chest but no lower. 

He seemed to be a man chiseled out of the finest marble. He may have grown used to the luxuries of an Emperor, but there was no doubt of his strength. She wanted to feel his muscles tense, watch him fight with barely a cloth on him to see every movement of power he held in him.

Then she felt heat rise in her face, blushing at such thoughts, and ceased them. If he knew what she was thinking, would he indulge her..? Commodus rose suddenly out of the water, breaking the hold he had on her to turn away. She stood up with him, returning the pillow she sat on, and waited for him to get dressed. The attendant had left him his day's outfit.

He glanced at her, seeing the blush still evident on her cheeks, "Is the temperature in here too hot for you?" His voice was playful, teasing her, and a sly smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"Oh, n..no, Commodus. The temperature is fine." She felt at her face, feeling the heat still there, and cursed herself for being so transparent. 

He lightly laughed, then hummed with affirmation, before dropping it completely. He wrapped his focale around his neck, going back to getting dressed.

She watched him secretly, though she knew Commodus wouldn't mind if she outright stared at him. She was waiting for him to ask for help, and it seemed he would on a few occasions, but he ultimately dressed himself alone. He applied a fragrance to himself, then finally placed the laurel crown upon his head.

He turned, showing off his completed look. He wore a refreshed expression, "How do I look?"

She smiled faintly, humoring him, "Like royalty."

He grinned, "Excellent. Shall we go then?" Gesturing to the exit, she started first with Commodus behind her.


	3. III

Commodus held her lower back as they walked through the empty halls together. She felt like he was treating her too special as soon as she was in uniform, not like a centurion, yet she had no other choice but to let him do as he pleased. She was afraid of what he would do if she reacted negatively to him. He had executed people for such things, or that's what she had heard. He was not known for his mercy.

"The Senate exhaust me. I am sure most of them hate me, but they're old and weak. You shouldn't worry about swords and knives with them. Just poison and secrecy."

She didn't know how to combat poison, but whoever the Emperor didn't trust, she wouldn't trust them either. It occurred to her that only the Emperor mattered. He had the power, not the Senate, not anybody else. Her life was now totally in his hands and she would make sure they would be gentle hands, at least with her.

They made it to the Senate and of course, all eyes studied the new guard beside their Emperor. She met their gazes, but wore a blank expression. She would not let them know her emotions. Besides, she did not trust them either. _Snakes in a marble pit._

Commodus walked in the middle of them and before he even had a chance to take a seat, one of the Senators spoke up, "Sire, shouldn't matters involving your…" they couldn't find a proper word, "your guard..be handled by another? Caesar has other responsibilities to handle."

Commodus sighed with aggravation, rubbing his eyes as if to make them disappear, "She is my protector. I will not dismiss her nor will I hand her off to another."

Another Senator spoke, "Surely she knows very little of how to be a protector, especially of an Emperor."

Aeliana stood next to Commodus who now sat down. She could see how agitated he already was and wasn't sure how to calm him down. She only drew closer to give him her presence. Perhaps her being close would give him peace of mind.

"I am to teach her. She must know my daily routine, meet everyone I do. This is her training, is it not?" He continued to hold a dangerous look in his eye.

Some whispers erupted around the room. The same Senator spoke again, "Caesar, this is-"

"Enough! She is mine to command. I will not dismiss her. Now let us get on with this meeting, you've already wasted my time." His voice echoed, and like a wave, the room grew silent.

A short pause happened until someone started to speak. Aeliana didn't listen. What did their chatter mean to her? Instead, she focused her attention on each individual in the room. Looking at their reactions whenever Commodus would speak. If they made any sour expressions, she would make note of their faces, to keep a further eye on them. Anyone who disagreed non-verbally would be suspicious.

A peculiar face in the crowd stuck out to her. It was a young man, around her age she guessed, that was standing near the back. He was a guard, though not in such a position like her. When her stare lingered too long, the man felt it, and turned to smile at her. She smiled back as a gesture of acknowledgment, then continued on with searching for possible threats.

* * *

"I told you," Commodus sighed, "All that they do seems to be against me. I felt better with you there, Aeliana."

The Senate went on for ages. She was happy to finally stretch her legs and get fresh air. Commodus had briskly taken her out of there as soon as the meeting was over, not wanting to talk with them any longer. Now he was moaning about them once more.

"And how dare they try to force you out! Telling _me_ you need to be taught? Ha! Who better a teacher than me? You cannot leave my side, it will put me at risk. They must know that..." He grumbled.

She placed her hand on his tense shoulder, ceasing his rambling, "Be calm, Commodus. You made it clear to everyone. You shouldn't worry now."

He sighed deeply, raising his hand to meet her own. He moved his face close to her touch as well, and she felt the warmth of his cheek on her skin, "Thank you." He sounded so tired, Aeliana noticed.

"Caesar?"

A voice behind them made them turn. Aeliana saw it was the guard who smiled at her earlier. She tried to contain her eagerness, the thought of talking to someone her own age being exciting. It was the faintest of ideas, but she hoped the Emperor would let her speak with others, especially this man.

"Yes?" An irritated response from Commodus.

"I do not mean to offend you, Caesar, but I must agree with the Senate."

_Oh great. He is striking the provoked bear…_

Her happiness waned. This man was clearly an idiot. Anyone near the Emperor knew he loathed the Senate, it was foolish to bring them up.

Commodus blinked in awe that his own men would say such a thing to him. He spoke, "Agree with what, exactly?"

"Your new guard. She only knows the way of the gladiator. Would it not benefit Caesar if I showed her the way of the guard?" The young man bowed his head slightly, out of respect, but he had crossed a line Aeliana wished he hadn't.

Commodus breathed a laugh. She looked at him, seeing an all too familiar look of darkness. He moved in front of her suddenly, partially blocking her. He even put a hand out as if to tell her to stay back.

"You would like to show her how to protect me? _You?_ The lovesick rat who had desire in his eyes as he gazed upon her in the Senate? Oh yes, I see more than you know, little boy." He spat, the anger rising.

Aeliana's heart sank. Commodus had witnessed their small exchange. It was harmless to Aeliana, but the Emperor remained paranoid. It didn't occur to her this man would harbor desire for her just by a glance.

"Emperor, I don't know what-"

"Do not call me a liar!" His voice raised considerably, echoing in the hall, then lowered to a harsh whisper, "I don't care to see your face any longer. Leave."

She could feel her heart rate quicken. The young man did not leave, which prompted her to act. She moved forward, past Commodus, who almost grabbed at her to stop, and held onto the sword at her side, "The Emperor has given you an order." If she wished to diffuse the situation, she would have to make the man leave.

Finally, he did, walking down the hall with his tail between his legs. She turned her attention to the Emperor, seeing how upset he was, and before she could get a word in, he furiously walked away. She followed swiftly behind as he led her down various halls until he suddenly stopped.

He held his hand up, "Stay here a moment." Then walked further into the room to address a guard.

Only worrisome thoughts crossed her mind. She was sure that guard was to be executed, but would he truly murder his own men just for an unpleasant conversation? She couldn't hear a word as they spoke, nor could she see their mouths move. It was a hushed moment and it made Aeliana nervous.

Soon enough, Commodus returned, slightly smiling, "We have much to do, but that is for later on. Let's take a walk."

* * *

The Palace villa had an extraordinary garden. Aeliana had not seen so many different plants in one place. She recognized a few herbs, but the others were unknown to her. As they descended into the garden, Commodus breathed deeply in.

"Beautiful, isn't it? Nothing to overwhelm the senses," Another sigh of bliss, "I asked for no one to disturb us. We deserve a quiet moment together."

It was relaxing for her to see Commodus so at ease. She decided to release the tension in her body as they walked slowly, enjoying the scenery.

He smiled, touching her arm to guide her where to walk, "So how do you like being here as opposed to the arena?"

"It's different. It's like I'm on opposite sides of the world, if that makes sense." They shared a laugh, "I also feel like many here don't approve of me."

His face fell, "I suppose you're correct. To see a gladiator now guarding their Emperor must be very shocking to them. I know you've had distasteful stares here and there, perhaps whispers, but they will go away in time, I swear it."

She genuinely smiled for the first time, warmed by his words, "Thank you, Commodus, truly. I hope you are right."

He moved his hand to her back, "I promise you. You had done so much for me in the arena, it is only right to treat you just as well, if not better." His smile was soft, gentle.

Then she took a risk, "Of course...but, Commodus, will I ever have the opportunity to fight again? I know I am a lady, but fighting is exhilarating, unlike now where I never draw my sword."

He stopped them near the side of the path, clenching his jaw, "Why must you insist on shedding blood in the Colosseum? What I have given you, thousands dream of, and yet you refuse to accept this as a gift. Have I put you in shackles? Do you desire to be free of me and the palace and all its rich offerings?"

He roughly gripped her wrist, ripping her off the path and pressing her against a marble column. His fingers dug into her shoulders, holding her still against him and the pillar, "Choose your next words very carefully, Aeliana."

She swallowed hard. Their faces were practically touching, but as she took her time in answering, he moved closer and closer until his nose brushed against hers.

She shakily breathed out, "I have no other desire than to please you, Commodus. That has always been my meaning, in and out of the arena. I did not mean to upset you."

She trembled under him as he spoke quietly, "You have upset me greatly. It pains me to hear you wish to risk your life to kill a few worthless men for the glory of Rome-"

"For the glory of _you_." She corrected him, but he disliked her interruption.

"This is the final time we will discuss this. I am never letting you step on the sand of the arena. You do not belong there anymore. You are an amazing fighter, brave and intelligent, but if you were to be injured, or worse," he shakily exhaled, his lip quivering as he whispered, "How will we produce a beautiful heir-"

"Caesar, the Senate demands your attention to the papers they have delivered."

Aeliana couldn't breath. Commodus had pressed himself so tightly against her, his chest pushed down on her own. It was like being crushed under a boulder. If she squirmed even a tiny bit, every part of her would touch Commodus. She had never been so close to a man and this embrace, no matter how threatening, felt very intimate. 

Then his words. She was banished from the arena. It stung her, the tears welling in her eyes at the thought, but what caused her inability to speak, to move, to do anything, were the words he whispered so softly to her. _An heir._

Commodus flickered his gaze between her mouth and her eyes, before pushing himself off of her and turning his attention to the guard who interrupted him.

"The Senate _do not_ command me." He growled, then moved past the guard before calling out, "Aeliana, come!"


	4. IV

"We missed a perfectly good meal because of those snakes. Not only did they waste my time at the Senate, they interrupted our moment of peace together. There's always time for papers. They just hate me." 

More complaints about the Senate made Aeliana roll her eyes behind Commodus' back. It was getting tiresome to hear about it. He needed to make up his mind about dissolving the Senate once and for all.

They would have to eat while he worked on his imperial duties. Reading papers, signing papers, turning a paper...then all over again...and Aeliana would be put through the torture of sitting there the entire time. 

Of course she knew he wouldn't eat. Either his mind would be on his work, or he would be too stressed. She would eat though. She was starving and the thought of a thoroughly cooked meal made her stomach growl.

Commodus slid into his chair once they arrived at the correct room, and promptly picked up the paper in front of him to read. Aeliana sat at the end of the table, to his side, and closed her eyes.

She had always been wary of his intentions with her. She thought back on their previous encounters. At first, he treated her as any other fighter, but as time went on he started to call her to his chambers. Rumors spread throughout the arena, that the Emperor was sleeping with his best gladiator, but they were untrue. In his chambers, he only congratulated her on her battles.

Though, she remembered his lingering hands. His gaze that would travel all over her body. The way he behaved around her as if he were trying to seduce her. He was the Emperor, he could have whoever he wanted, but he never tried to take her. Now as Aeliana sat near him, thinking of past and present, it was apparent his feelings for her had grown immensely. She had no idea how to proceed, no idea if she felt the same way.

She opened her eyes and studied Commodus. He was deep into his reading, concentrating. She could see the small beads of sweat on his forehead and was reminded of the heat in the room. Would he be so focused if they laid together? Would he be commanding and rough, or sweet and gentle? Would he sweat on top of her or under her?

She squeezed her eyes tightly and groaned in frustration. _I'm really thinking of this right now, while he sits so close?_

"Is something wrong?"

Commodus was staring at her, waiting for an answer. She couldn't read his expression.

"No, I was deep in thought. Sorry for disturbing you."

He raised one brow in curiosity. At first it seemed like he didn't believe her, but in the blink of an eye he was back at work.

He had admitted to her that he refused to let her fight because if she were injured or killed, he couldn't have an heir. Was that to be a byproduct of his love for her, or did he see her as just a way to prolong his stay on the throne?

Regardless, it was the last thing she wanted. She wasn't a mother. Even the thought of that sickened her. No, she was a warrior. She wouldn't dare let any man, including the Emperor, take that away and replace it with...motherhood. She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Aeliana, you are making many concerning expressions. What could you possibly be thinking?" Commodus spoke with a hint of annoyance.

He was clearly watching her out of the corner of his eye.

She swallowed hard, trying to quickly come up with an answer, "I am thinking about that horrible man who approached us earlier," She shook her head, "How he thought you wouldn't be able to teach me anything...how utterly wrong he was."

What she said, she believed, even if it seemed harsh. It was true she held Commodus in high regard, but it was also true that she was worried about how she spoke to him. She knew what topics to avoid and which ones pleased him, especially when she needed to distract him from her true thoughts.

An unbearable silence filled the room as Commodus stared at her. She stared back with a stoic expression.

Then he chuckled playfully, returning to sign a paper, "Oh...yes, that bastard. We won't see him again."

Aeliana felt her smile drop, "We won't?"

He stopped and reached for her hand, holding his own over hers, "Don't worry yourself with the details. I took care of him."

A sudden anger took over her, "If you wanted him dead, why didn't you give me the order? That's what I'm here for, isn't it? To kill your enemies?" Her temper was getting the better of her, "Or is this all a ruse to have me at your side? To provide you with a strong heir?"

She watched as Commodus clenched his jaw, his eyes turning dark. He glared at her in a way that had Aeliana turning her head away to avoid him. But he did not relent, nor did he remove his hand from hers, only tightening his grip.

Then she whispered, "How can I be at your side if you do not let me speak freely with you?"

Suddenly, he sighed heavily, then released her hand back to her. He reclined in his chair, "Forgive me, Aeliana." He covered his eyes with his hand, a gesture of exhaustion and shame, "I speak out of a dark place. You are right to speak freely with me. I do not mean to restrict you."

It sounded as if he were on the verge of tears. Aeliana let him stew in his emotions before she spoke, "I don't care that that man is dead. He was a fool to question you. I care that you wouldn't let me do it. Let me protect you. As my position entails."

A shaky breath left his lips, "I am afraid of setting you on people like a bloodthirsty hound. As each day passes, I fear the day I see you take another life."

She sighed, "Why? You did so in the arena, letting loose men for me to slaughter. I took their lives and saw you smile with joy."

He shook his head, then revealed his distressed face, "Did you not see my happiness wane? How I made sure every opponent you faced was destined to succumb to the wounds I gave them?"

She didn't know how to react, "If that was how you felt, why didn't you free me?"

He froze in place, afraid of her words, "You know why."

Then it was silent. To free Aeliana meant Commodus would never see her again. There was no way he would.

"When will you tell me? When will you truly admit it?" She wanted to hear him say he _loved her_ , wanted a true expression of his attraction to her, not all of this vague nonsense.

He closed his eyes, his lips quivering, "I don't know."

Aeliana sighed. It seemed the conversation had ended, but he continued with a change of subject, "Perhaps, since you miss the fights, we could practice together. You do know I am excellent with a sword. It may satisfy you."

She didn't say a word. It would be her dream to playfully fight the Emperor, but at the moment, other things were on her mind and Commodus noticed immediately.

"Are you upset with me?" His voice cracked.

His eyes were wet. She could tell her silence was driving him to tears. 

"I am upset, yes."

He closed his eyes, biting his quivering lip, "Please, don't say that."

He looked visibly shaken. It saddened Aeliana, "I do not hate you, Commodus."

"What is it that makes you so upset?"

She cast her eyes to the floor at his feet and without a pause between them, she said, "What you told me in the gardens."

He turned his head slightly, a bout of embarrassment taking hold of him, "Oh...that is something we should discuss privately. Not now."

"I have many questions, Commodus, I hope you will answer them." 

* * *

Toward the end of his working session, the servants brought their meals. 

Commodus only took a few bites and downed his wine. Aeliana was given plain water and a lesser meal, something she was not expecting. Commodus looked very displeased when he noticed, but kept quiet, which was another unexpected surprise. She ate every piece regardless.

"Here, you may have mine." Commodus passed his plate over to her, then filled his glass full of wine.

She took his gesture without opposition, "Thank you." She realized how starved she really was, but felt guilty when the Emperor barely touched any food.

"Commodus, you should be eating more."

He waved her concern away and sipped at his wine, finishing the last of the papers. She sighed, and ate what she was given without another word. She wouldn't let it go to waste just because he was in a foul mood. She didn't know if their previous conversation was the cause of his silence or something else.

"The last thing on our agenda is the games." He said after the servants cleaned their plates off the table.

"I get to watch them?" Aeliana perked up. This would be the most exciting thing to happen to her all day.

"Yes, with me." He smiled lazily, setting the last paper in the pile.

With everything that had happened today, she forgot he had to attend the games. Of course, to be seen in her new position by everyone made her feel uneasy, but to see the games would dispel those worries.

Yet she couldn't let them leave the room until she had an answer, "Commodus, what is troubling you?" 

He sighed deeply, nibbling on his finger. He was unable to look at her, "I am saddened that you're upset. That it's me who is the cause of your discomfort," His eyes flickered to hers, "You know that I never want you to feel that way, especially because of me."

She did not expect him to be this vulnerable. She reached over and laid her hand over his, "You may have caused unrest in me due to your words, but that does not mean I will be upset with you forever."

"How do you feel now?"

She slid her hand into his and he held her hand back, "I feel anticipation for the games, of course." She got a small laugh out of him, "But I know you and I will talk tonight, and that comforts me."

She watched as he struggled to contain his emotions, but he nodded silently.

"Let's enjoy ourselves, Commodus. I will be at your side and you won't have to worry."

He nodded again, rubbing his red eyes, "Yes, you're right." He stood up, "Shall we go?"

* * *

They made their way to the Imperial Box, the roar of the crowd slowly entering her ears as they drew closer. She smiled when she saw the familiar sights. It felt good to be back, and a part of her was happy she wasn't down there, fighting for her life. Perhaps Commodus was right; she was not meant for that life anymore.

He walked to the front of the Box to wave at the crowd, cheers erupting since he was a sign the games would be starting very soon. She stood by his throne, unsure of what to do, but when he sat down he waved his hand for her.

"Sit here." He rested his hand on the cool stone of his throne's arm.

She softly spoke close to him so no one else would hear, "It would be too uncomfortable."

"You won't be." He rubbed the stone, "Please."

She glanced around. No one seemed bothered by her presence, in fact, everyone in the area averted their gaze from her. 

She then locked eyes with Commodus, seeing his pleading stare. If she simply said no, it would shatter his heart.

She bit her lip, then slid onto the arm of his throne, positioning herself so her legs hung off the side. Immediately, Commodus' hand brushed across her waist to settle on her lap. Out of instinct, she placed her hand on top of his. She was too focused on the arena below to see the smile on his face.

"It is such a different experience here. You can see the whole of the arena." She gripped the edge of the throne, the lion's head roaring toward the Colosseum, and smiled.

Commodus could hear the joy in her voice. His hand squeezed her thigh. Aeliana immediately settled down, trying to contain her excitement, but she couldn't lie to herself. It made her feel so comfortable to be so near her element.

"Yes. It truly is." He brushed his thumb over her thigh, tracing her skin gently.

Her love for bloodshed was a trait she shared with him, but Commodus disliked how willing she was to risk her life to obtain it. He wished she would cease speaking of it as happily as she did.

The games began after the announcement of today's spectacle. Aeliana wanted to jump up and go to the front to see all of the action, but she knew Commodus wouldn't let her. The more she showed excitement, the more he held onto her. His hand found his way to her waist, kneading into her stomach. She never once looked at him, but he couldn't tear his eyes off of her. He wasn't enjoying himself.

When the reigning champion wounded the last man left, Commodus rose to give the fated gesture. Aeliana watched in anticipation. She was so used to seeing him from down below, but now she was up close, drawn to his closed fist that eventually pointed a thumb down.

He turned around, "Would you accompany me?"

Her heart raced, "Where?"

He smiled, then held out his hand. She stood up, wary to let people see her take the Emperor's hand in hers, but she didn't want to leave him in wait. She placed her hand in his and let him lead her down to the sand of the arena.

* * *

The Praetorian guard surrounded the winner of the battles then made way for Commodus and Aeliana to walk in to meet him. Aeliana recognized the man instantly, but kept her mouth shut. He didn't look happy to see her.

Before Commodus could get a single word in, the gladiator spoke, "You're the Emperor's little dog now, huh?"

That made her blood start to boil, "What does that mean, Otho?"

The man scowled, "Not all of us want to live this life. We fight for our freedom...and you join the enemy. Some of us praised you…"

Her jaw dropped. She couldn't believe this. Otho and her never had any bad blood between them, but now that she was a guard of high quality, it soured their relationship.

Commodus was seething. She could feel the anger pour off of him. Not only did Otho insult Aeliana, but he tossed in hate toward Commodus. It was a mess, and very tense.

He stepped forward, "I am your enemy?"

Aeliana touched his arm, but he held up his hand toward her, "You insult my personal guard, you insult _me_. Do you wish to die?"

Otho realized his mistake, "No, Caesar, I-"

"Strike him down."

Aeliana knew it was directed toward her, but she couldn't believe what she heard. When she didn't move, Commodus turned his head toward her, "Kill him, Aeliana. Now."

She feared the crowd would be outraged at the slaughter of the winner, but her anger and his outmatched theirs. She nodded and walked forward with her hand on the hilt of her sword and his eyes tracking her as she went.

Otho shrunk in fear, "Aeliana-"

She struck, slicing into the side of his neck. The blade didn't go all the way through, so she drew back and struck again, this time knocking the gladiator to the sand. He was dead before he hit the ground.

She heard behind her the labored breath of Commodus. When she turned around, she saw him staring at her. Specks of blood decorated his face and she knew she had some on hers as well. She walked in front of him as it was clear he was frozen in place, and wiped the blood off his cheek. Before her hand left his face, he pressed his own against hers, holding her hand there and leaning into her touch.

His eyes flickered as if he would close them, but the moment was ruined when the crowd started to roar louder in rage. It was clear they should not stay any longer.

"Commodus, we must leave."

He sighed, "Yes, you're right." But he didn't move.

She tried to pull her hand away, but he gave her resistance until she grabbed his hand, "We _must_ leave."

She walked forward, hoping he would follow her, and he did, but at last second she noticed he had started to lean in as if to kiss her. They walked out of the arena quickly, both of them dazed in their own ways, and left the arena behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this story is still making sense a.k.a following its plot! Thank you for reading this far 💕


	5. V

The day had ended very fast after the games. Aeliana was too lost in her thoughts to focus on anything around her. She had slain someone, again, in the arena, but this time, it was a man she had once fought side by side with. Did everyone think so low of her now that she was the Emperor's guard? She didn't want to find out. Some things were better left in the dark.

Commodus was more in a daze than her. Droplets of blood smeared his face still. His blue eyes watered down in a flurry of emotion. Aeliana had purposefully caressed him. It was as if he were in a dream, and he didn't want to wake up. His decision to keep her at his side was one he had yet to regret.

When they were alone, entering his chambers, she abruptly requested, "May I have a bath, please? I would like to relax."

He closed the door lightly, "May I join you?" His words barely left his mouth. It was as if he were unsure he should say them.

Aeliana smiled softly, trying to gently dismiss his inquiry, "Not tonight, Commodus."

He made a curt nod, but wasn't hurt by her rejection, "I'll have the servants prepare you one at once."

He simply opened the door, said a few hushed words, and the arrangement was settled. Aeliana was happy she would finally have a moment to herself after all that happened today.

Commodus draped himself over a particularly lavish lounge chair, struggling to keep his eyes open. He stared up at the ceiling until his voice broke the silence, "Will you sit beside me?"

She slowly walked over to him, as if any sudden movements would scare him away. When she relaxed on the cushioned seat, he rose to sit up. 

She surprised herself when she didn't move from their proximity to one another. He was so close she could feel the tension he held, but it slowly ebbed away when he laid his head on her shoulder, sighing audibly. His soft hair brushed against her neck, tempting her to raise her hand to touch it.

"Tonight..." His voice but a sigh, "Tonight, I hope, will be the best sleep I have ever had."

Aeliana felt a smile form on her face. She placed her hand on his knee without saying a word.

"I cannot wait to hold you." He whispered softly to himself, then slipped his hand over hers.

The door then opened to a servant, "The bath is ready, Caesar."

Commodus did not make an effort to move. She would have thought he was sleeping if he hadn't said, "Go on. I shall wait here."

Carefully standing up, Aeliana departed with the servant who led her to the baths. Her stomach suddenly felt knotted. When they made it to the entrance of the baths, she stopped the servant from leaving, "May I ask something of you?" 

The servant only nodded.

"Will you please stay at the Emperor's chamber doors? You must understand how I feel not being at his side." Aeliana was dreadfully worried, more so than she thought, "Make sure no one enters, but do not let Caesar see you. Understand?"

Again, the servant nodded, then silently left to do as Aeliana asked. She was sure a servant wouldn't do much in protecting Commodus, but it put her mind at ease.

She entered the baths and stripped, descending into the hot water. She instantly felt relaxed as she soaked; it was no wonder Commodus almost fell asleep when he was here earlier in the day.

She leaned her head back. Coming from the arena to being pampered here, it made her head spin. Commodus still had power over her, she could sense it despite no longer being a slave, but he didn't use it as she thought he would. At least, not yet.  


The mighty Emperor softened to what Aeliana would consider a friend, but did he see she harbored love for him? It wasn't obvious, not even to herself at times, but a part of her desired to please him because she  _ wanted _ to, not because of the power he commanded. Maybe he thought it was impossible to be truly loved, maybe he thought she only loved him out of necessity...

After having her time in the baths, she decided it was over when the water had cooled. The servant had left her with a night outfit and she put it on with ease. It was much more comfortable and made her tired eyes grow heavier.

She made her way back, seeing the servant standing near the door just as she instructed them to. She released them with a nod and watched as they left out of her view before she opened the door to her new chambers.

Commodus, already in his night outfit with his face washed of blood, sat in his usual chair waiting for her.

A warm smile spread on his tired face, "I always thought about how you'd look in the night. I am not disappointed."

She smiled, noting he had dreamed of her before, and said, "You are as I imagined."

His smile wavered, "You've thought of me?"

"Every day I saw you adorned with magnificent armor. Of course I would lay awake and think of what you'd look like sleeping."  _ Among other things. _

His breath escaped him. He could not believe what he was hearing. His eyes fluttered, but he regained his composure, "Let us lay down."

"You said we would speak tonight."

He moved to his bed, "Yes, we will."

She was wary, "Commodus, I know if you lay down, you will surely fall asleep-"

He insisted, "We will."

Aeliana made no more arguments and moved to sit with him on the opposite side of the bed.  _ Her _ side now. The silence of the room made her nervousness worse, yet it seemed Commodus wasn't affected by his own nerves. He was eager, despite how tired he was, to rest beside Aeliana.

He took the blankets in his hands then fell back, letting the pillow catch his heavy head as he pulled them over him. Then he eyed Aeliana, waiting for her to join him under the covers.

As soon as she slid herself under the blankets with him, he moved himself closer to her, enough to feel his entire body outline hers. He sighed as he laid his head on her chest and wrapped his arm around her. His hand caressed the side of her chest.

Aeliana wasn't sure if she should start the conversation, but knew if she didn't, he would never speak of it, "Commodus, why-" then she stopped and realized she didn't know  _ how _ to start the conversation.

She felt his hold on her tighten and knew his expression despite not seeing his face. He released a shaky breath, "An heir with you, is what I've yearned for...for such a long time. We would rule together, and no one would dare to defy us."

She tensed up hearing him speak of the subject, but let him continue, "You're strong, beautiful. You…" He took a deep breath, "I know you care about me. Please say that you do."

She didn't hesitate, "I do not care enough to give you an heir." 

His breath caught in his throat, "Our son would be the most powerful of all Rome to take the throne. We would be proud of him. Love him." His voice started to crack, "We would smile at his successes as we grow older together-"

"Commodus." She interrupted him, "You must know I am not a mother. I am barely your guard. I am not fit to rule with you, nor give you an heir. Surely, you knew this."

He grew silent. She would have thought he fell asleep if he weren't kneading his hand into her.

Then he spoke in a dark, unknown tone, "I am the Emperor and if I so choose, you will give me an heir."

"If you loved me-"

He cut her off, "I do love you. That is true, but you must understand that is the duty of an Emperor."

She grit her teeth. To continue his bloodline, to secure an heir to the throne, was a priority. Her breath quickened, "Please, consider what that means for me."

"I have considered. I've thought of this almost every night, Aeliana. I've made my decision."

"I have no say?"

She felt his cruel smile against her skin, "No, I control you. I always have. You cannot deny me, and no one will defy the Emperor," He caught on to the severity of his words, whining out in his soft voice, "Don't hate me."

Aeliana stayed still, letting every word of his sink into her mind, and had no intention of answering him.

"Aeliana?"

She let him suffer in her silence and to her surprise, he understood she would not be giving him an answer. His breath quickened. She didn't know if it was out of anger or another intense emotion, but soon she felt him loosen up and fall asleep. She was relieved he made no more attempts at conversation.  


Aeliana, on the other hand, did not sleep as soon as him. Thoughts about her fate were fogging her mind. The Emperor would not relent in his decision, that was true, but he was  _ not _ her Master. He did  _ not _ control her destiny. She would make sure of that.


End file.
